On June 12, 1997. This day was started out like any other day. But later this tragedy would change the direction of my life forever. A domestic shooting took place and I was the victim. The offender and I were close friends. We were sharing an apartment together. Most of the people in the community would see us together on a daily basis, some of the neighbors would make it their mission to watch us, maybe because we did not pose a threat, and we would always speak. My roommate also had children, 2 girls, and boy ages 14,13 and 9. They lived with their grandparents at the time. The shooting happening because my roommate accuses me of cheating and it escalated from there. She had driven out to my job earlier that day and confronting me with a shirt that had lipsticks stains on the collar. Of course, I denied the aggregation. When I returned home from work she was their still anger from earlier. We started yelling at one another back and forth and she grabs my pistol.
The pistol that was used was a 22 caliber it was purchased from a friend it was not registered. We often get into heated arguments with each other and they usually cool down. But this time it was different, it was something more underneath the surface. The bullets were just purchased for that pistol a week ago before the shooting, I did not think it was loaded. When she fired the weapon, I was setting on the edge of the bed, when my head flew back on the bed and blood starting running out of the side of my mouth. We were both in shock me not knowing the severity of the gunshot wound and her standing frozen in denial and frantic that my famiIly was going to kill her. She yelling at me to sit up and I could not without help, she comes over and helps me up, now blood is running faster out of my mouth, and I am trying quietly to whisper to her to call 911, reassuring her that she did not mean to shoot me. At this time everyone nearby in the apartment complex heard the commotion and started to stand around outside as the Police and EMS arrived. The landlord knew my mother, and I whisper to her not to let my mother know what had happened. Because she would have been devasted. I also told the police that I was not going to press charges, the officers looks at me and shakes his head. She had a family and, I did not want to see her children suffer, because of the mistake that she had made. They transported me to Cape Fear Valley hospital. I was reluctant to give out any information to them concerning contacting my family. My worries were my family, especially my mother, I could not take my family through this ordeal. They were notified, by who, I am not sure, I passed out at that time.
We all know that domestic violence has been around for decades even centuries, mainly among heterosexual, now it has entered into the LBGQT community. Most of the time heavy drinking plays a role, in domestic violence, such as, in my situation, we were both heavy drinkers, and she had been drinking at the time of the shooting. Men and Women are now experienced abuse and violence in relationships with their partners. “Law enforcement, government agencies, and the general population acknowledge that domestic violence is a serious public health problem” (Domestic Violence in the LGBT Community, 2011).
” Researcher has acknowledged that domestic violence among same-sex couples is similar to heterosexual couples. But because of certain laws, domestic violence victims in same-sex relationships are not identified as heterosexual relationships they can not get the help they need. This is due to the lack of legal recognition of same-sex relationships, law enforcement’s failure to identify and properly handle domestic violence cases involving people of the same sex, and the shortage of resources available to victims of same-sex partner domestic abuse” (Domestic Violence in the LGBT Community, 2011). In most situation, shelters can not provide a safe place of care for gay men and lesbian because of certain legalities in our court’s systems.
During my process with my battle back from my shooting. I would not identifies us as a couple. The shooting was due to an argument among friends. The shame of being label as lesbians and getting shot by your lover was not good in an African America family and cultural not for me. My family was concern about my ability to function normally, physical and financially after this had happened. We had worked out an agreement between the two of us that she would pay my car payments until I was able to return back to work. She started out for a while and then stop. If it is not documented by the courts you really do not have a legal right or obligation for the offender to comply with the agreement.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENDER RELATIONSHIPS. (2006). Retrieved from National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: file:///C:/Users/user/Desktop/ncadv_lgbt_fact_sheet.pdf
Domestic Violence in the LGBT Community. (2011, June 14). Retrieved from Center For American Progress: https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/lgbt/news/2011/06/14/9850/domestic-violence-in-the-lgbt-community/
al., M. e. (2016). Violence Against Women in Selected Areas of the United States. American Journal of Public Health, 2156-2166.
Shwayder, M. (2013, November 5). A Same-Sex Domestic Violence Epidemic Is Silent. Retrieved from The Atlantic Monthly Group: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/11/a-same-sex-domestic-violence-epidemic-is-silent/281131/